“If you really want to know a people, start by looking inside their bedrooms,” says Shereen El Feki, who traveled through the Middle East for five years, talking to people about sex. While those conversations reflected rigid norms and deep repression, El Feki also discovered that sexual conservatism in the Arab world is a relatively new thing. She wonders: could a re-emergence of public dialogue lead to more satisfying, and safer, sex lives?
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1:14 everything after that statement is irrelevant. Best wishes… hope your daughters are honored by being marry to 50 y/o mullas.
Sounds like she's got an agenda. Not sure exactly what it is, but it's there somewhere.
Finding it hard to understand the point, but a brilliant speaker! 🙂
How about we stop trying to change the East and start working on how utter lack of moral values here in the West? Kind of tired of your shit, pre-marital sex advocates.
Pregnancy without penetration ??? That sperm must not only swim but FLY!!!!!!
A fascinating talk about how cultures shape sexuality. She brings up issues unapologetically and respectfully.
Further ignoring the problems would be a tragedy.
lol arrogant woman… let them have their values of sex in marrige and you can be proud of your values of pre-marrige sex, gay sex, lesbian couples, teenage pregnancies, high divorce rate, many girl friends… jeez… mind your own business…
p.s your Jesus and Christ and all recommend to have sex in marrige only…
Sex is essential… So true… Pleasure is a need for health… ♥
Recommendations for this speaker: get to the point faster, or at least try to have a coherent point. For someone who speaks of other people being uncomfortable and unable to speak of sex directly, you seem awfully indirect. Just go ahead and say it, the girls boyfriend came in her ass, on her thigh, on her belly etc. Some errant sperm (possibly just the tiniest of splatters or droplets!) got onto and into her vagina. Finally, what exactly is your recommended course of action? Nothing? Just sit back and wait for these internal generational changes to magically occur? That is not good enough.
Shereen El Feki explains the problem in Arabic world about lack of sex awareness. It may be due to harsh religious conditions. I thing, after the Arab Springs, things are slowly changing for the better. Moreover Internet emerged as the great level playing field. And I hope Arabs are very much part of this revolution, including learning about sex. Highly recommended talk.
Very moving. She is a hero.
This talk started to go wrong when she claimed to be a Muslim and misrepresented it as fundamentally liberal on sexual issues. What she is really calling for is religious liberalism and nominalism. That's what the talk was about. Shame she wasn't open about it.
Worst Ted talk ever. And to think the speaker flew all the way from Canada to Morocco to find this poor woman who got pregnant via anal sex. Please…. The presentation should’ve been called MIRACLE BABY and you should consider Faisa the mother of the new messiah.
No wonder the audience did engage in the presentation….the opening alone, killed it.
I think it's overexagerated I'm from north africa and things aren't that bad it sadly still exist but not in all social classes
So, the Arab world is at the brink of their sexual revolution? Maybe I should consider moving there then. Such a shame I missed that in the Western world 😉
A serious issue, which stems from ignorance, religious bigotry and misogyny. These cultures are lagging way behind the times in terms of ethical development.
preaching to the choir..
What point is everybody looking for? This was just a story about wat's going on over there, I thought it was interesting to know this.
Why can't we in Europe have immigrants from that region as intelligent as this lady, instead of the self-righteous, hate-filled rapists in Sweden, benefit-thieves in Britain and madly procreating conquerors in France and Spain, all seeking the establishment of a caliphate in our continent?
It's strange to see people who call themselves Muslim and yet had no clue what it means
It's strange to see people who call themselves Muslim and yet had no clue what it means
This whole Arabic thing is rather sickening, I must say. I actually kinda lost a friend to one of these arranged marriage things. Not cool :/
What an cool woman. I really hate our [arabic] cultures.
A lot of axioms
From saudi . And I know that she has no idea about the region nor the differences between the limitations of culture nor what the religion actually says and not even about the history of the problems that happened to the people the resulted in the terrible state of living and we are still recovering from a lot of problems. Does she even know that a marriage is not conducted or registered unless both sides agree as in the guy and the girl agree . Does she even know as a women you you got to court if the parents forced the girl in a marriage and the judge well call off the marriage . Does she know that women can do خلع which stronger than divorce if the husband is careless and does not provide and give her all her rights. Does she know about the available courses that people who are engaged can attend and are very informative for marriage and cover a lot of subjects for men and women which are growing in popularity . I think not . I admit the whole justice system in not great for both sexes and women do sometimes get the short end of the stick . But damn she is really over exaggerating a whole lot nonsense .
Stfu, keep this talk for yourself. Looks like you needs to get laid BITCH!
What exactly is her point?
She talks about sexuality in arab region at edinburgh. So weird
How being conservative in sex is worse than banging your mate in the ass?
So little emotion in this potentially heart wrenching topic. Sounded over rehearsed and dull. The words might have read better than they were heard. I won't recommend this video
Am I the only one bothered by how flowery and contrived her style was? It was almost sickening lol.
This video is like.. a whole pack of stereotypes. She adds nothing new
Plies don't teach wrong to people.
You are NOT the one to be talking, you know nothing, you don't and never will understand us. You didn't grow up here in the first place… you call yourself a Muslim half Egyptian or whatever … But you look like a gay (although you are supposed to be a female).
"Mistakes" are there indeed, there are things got mistaken to be part of our holy religion, got blended in with our culutres and traditions, Islam never took away freedom, Islam is justice believe it or not, its people who changed, hidden things, tweaked and played with the strings just to turn whats happening to their favor… misunderstood stuffies!…
But whatever, We ARE sexually educated, but limitations comes from rootless traditions.
And NEVER ask for EQUALITY, equality is the opposite of justice, the two never works together ! You can't treat an old man "equally" with a young man … But treating them fairly IS the right choice … Or don't tell me that you expect both of them to be playing foot ball … or maybe both of them to be on wheel chair ?
Shereen you are a liar and a hypocrite. For those of you who haven't watched this video yet, I suggest you don't because you will learn nothing but lies.
Second of all, Islam is the perfect religion, it's the people who are not,
For someone who is supposed to be educated, how do you not know the difference between religion and culture?
Yes there are stories out there that even me as a Muslim make my blood boil, but that is because they are not educated well enough about Islam or choose not to follow. Yes you might think this talk is about sexual education, but it is far from that. This is trying to show people that what Islam teaches about sex is bad. So what is exactly wrong with being a virgin before getting married? And also, just like women have to be virgins on their wedding night, so to do the men. In Islam, men have to treat their wives properly and care and look after them.
She is not educated well enough on this topic. She should not have spoken about it.
Do you know the whole process on how a man and woman get married? Unless you are well educated, I think not. Did you know that a man must give dowry before and after marriage to ensure that the woman is taken care of? Did you know that a woman must be treated like a human being and not just some pet in Islam?
Yes I agree, there are "Arabs" out there who treat their women like cattle, but this is NOT Islam. It is their own doing. Mostly it's mixed culture. Religion comes above culture.
In Islam, if a man loses his virginity before marriage, it's a sin. This goes for women as well. So don't talk lies about how it's hypercritical in Islam because of that. As I explained, it's not Islam, it's the people.
And don;t try and argue with me about how she's talking about Arabs, not just Muslims in particular, because if you have watched this video, you can hear clearly on how she ties it in.
So Shereen and anyone else who thinks like this, instead of making it your goal to teach people about the openness of sex, why don;t you make it your goal to teach the world that what Islam teaches us about sex is the most pure and right way. Isn't this better than teaching our children that it's ok to sleep around and explore your sexuality until you get married? No.
The world needs to be taught that being humble and having dignity throughout your life is the best way.
good
Excellent presentation. Gives good insight into the politics of the Arab world.
A lesbian talks about a normal sex life in the middle east! that's weird. You should ask them to stop killing each other before focusing on your interests.
If everyone were atheist,even agnostic, we wouldn't waste our time on what people do while naked
fukin ILLUMINATI
She makes it sounds like the Middle East can actually hope to be less retrograde at any point during the next 1,000 years.
True Islam is surprisingly reasonable when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, culture, tradition, and ignorance have distorted this fact. If anything, we should be telling Muslims to get back to basics if they want to fix problems in the Mideast.
13:49 "EVILution" indeed. Why don't you state your agenda more blatantly Ms. Feki?
It makes absolutely no sense that this video has 57,000 views and only 91 comments
I've also seen videos with supposedly 0 views and 100s of comments
What are you doing YouTube?
how/why does this have any thumbs down ?!?!
Good talk. I really like the illustrations.
I think this speech should apply to the whole world, not just the arab region. It's a part of human nature, we shoukd feel comfortable about it, whatever that means to the individual.
Indeed, we all have to develop equality, love, respect in our personal sexual attitude, so that we can truthful projected it into our business, political and family lives. Thank you, Shereen..
Boring. Islam is boring and stupid
She's tooooo optimistic. Things won't change for a LONG time. This talk was pointless. How did she land a TED talk?
Poor data.
Poor data.
Its not sexual revolution, its sexual evaluation ! Great thoughtful
funny how most hateful comments come from men
I don't understand !!! you want arabs to be like western people !! o.O
Is that good thing to be free to talk about what you are doing in the bathroom ??
I think that the sexual life is something very very very special to anyone ,, it shouldn't be a puplic talks and it's not the awesome thing that we must do to be awesome people !! -_-
These talks should be with the specialists only when anyone have a problem, nothing else !!
The western culture now take steps to stop that in there societies becouse of what that lead thier countries to !!
I'm an Arab girl and i'm proud of my religion and my traditions which make me like the Queen, and protect me to be the perfect good woman.
If you wanna talk about what is happening now !!
you are right that our case now is so bad but the reason is not "our sexual problems " -_-
but the reason is that we became so away from our religion ,,, but if we follow steps our religion there won't be these problems
I ask you to save your effort to your self ,, we don't need this such revolution or as you called it " evolution"
what a brilliant speaker !
Where may I find this encyclopedia?
You are not better than arab world now or 1000 years ago
It is a shame that I lost 15 minutes of my time to hear this nonsense. What do you want lady? Marriage is a the fundmental stone of the successful society. Any sexual relationship beside that will lead to lost of children, mothers and will destroy life.You need to read about Islam more.
Yes Shereen … but everybody should know that Islam does not have a problem with the culture of sex , cause it told us everything about this and isn't forbidden to teach young people ways of sexual intercourse with their wives, but the problem is in the Muslims themselves and the society in which it prevents . blame musilms society not ISLAM .
L Jeff o tree ijg
i am a man i have sexual needs but in my religion standards i must get married to get that and i am very aware of the other sex sexual needs and i also respect them
but what really makes me angry is how other communities look at us at our lives and standards i mean i know that there are somethings that are wrong in the society generally but not as bad as presented neither as seen here or pictured . talking about one case and then making a problem statement from there is not that healthy to find real answers .
it IS from our very fundamental standards as muslims to have sex only after marriege and that is not a problem at all in fact it is a good thing in many ways and i have no time to discuss it here .
but it is also in our standars that both wife and husband have the right to have sex with the other partner and if any of them refuses for certain amount of time the other partner has the right to devorce hisher husbandwife that means simply we essentially respect sexual life .
but the current society is kinda as she said does not have this sex culture but also not as bad as she mensioned ( i live in KSA which is the most ristricted muslim society and even here almost all people have a fair-enough knowledge about sex and other partner needs )
the fact that we have problems in our sex lives does not makes all our standards bad neither some of them in fact some people have sex problems because they are not as good muslims as they should be .
in addition the fact that we have different approach for sexual life does not make our approach wrong and her approach is right ( it is a religion and u have to respect it and us )
i have realy appreciate how the society i live in is because i think that the sexual life she is wanting to see for us is a complete mess .
u the westren world and people who think they are wanting to "improve " islamic world must really try to see things from our angle first then look for something wrong otherwise you are really completely missunderstanding us , judging us and worst of all missing the knowledge that u need to get to know us more .
after looking from the same angle we welcome your suggestions for improvements and to make our life better .
Can anybody tell me why sex is a taboo subject and why so many cultures seem to regard sexuality as a bit dirty and wrong? Also, if a man and a woman engage in the same act, why is it that the man often claims that the woman is a slut afterwards? Why isnt he a slut too? Generalising madly, i'd say that a woman would more likely engage in sex because she felt affection for the man, whereas men can engage in sex for its own sake.
if you want to learn your true culture, read the quran
Contradicting topic. She advocates autonomy and privacy, but interferes other nations' and other cultures' principles of existence, which have been functioning for many centuries… I myself do not completely sure that western phylosophy ought to be universally spreaded and implemented. Huge misconception and huge hypocricy beeing so invasive trying to impose freedom and openness on others. The world's beauty is in its diversity.
Its a shame that such an intelligent woman allows herself to be completely deluded and blinded by religion.
@Sofia good observation!
I'm half Egyptian also ZOMG!
so… how did that woman get pregnant without vaginal intercourse?
I love her voice.
I am an arab and I say she is right in some ways, we don't talk much about sex , we have a little shame in discussing such subjects , and that's part of the restrains we have on free thinking and fearless speaking up in different fields of life, and that's what the arab revolutions came to destroy….."islam came up with rules that aim to set people free", thats a saying I believe in, if you want to live a blanced happy life you have to have some rules in your life, some habits that you keep, some laws that you can't break, some redlines you don't cross….those laws that would protect your life from choas, Islam bringes some restrictions to protect society from destroying itself…Islam is clearly against homosexaulity and sex outside marriege, and we are as muslims are proud of these rules and willing to protect them…….finally there's this mythe that the modern west created: "that life is all about sex, that sex alone can bring you enough satisfaction in life" , well that's a big mistake….there is more in life than just sex.
Sorry for any wrong spelling:-)
I don't like the ways she assumes abortion is obviously ok, it's not. It's a fragile issue, with lot's of points of view, it's not that linear. We shall not transform Democracy of thinking into Anarchy.
U can speak of ur subject without been disrespectfull to islam.
what on earth are you talking about woman? you stupid
she is right the "prophet" morehammad often spoke of sex. escpecially after he married his 8 year old bride named Aisha. he oftern wrote about how much joy she gave him. poor kid. ever since marrying little kids as young as 3 yrs old – open season! even their media talk on the topics as to how young to go! and full monty on them or stop with a custom called thighing!. don't believe me look it up on youtube = thighing . so she hides a lot on this topic! and again wanders often into fantasy land. islam is a cult began by a pedophile. it masquerades as a religion. and endorses pedophila as marriage. even more extreme than catholic priests!
you put a picture of a women which had been drawn by the name of the God "Allah",,, that is NOT nice ,,,, you talked about sex like animal kingdoom!!!!
Chode baby.
Praise Allah and tight hymens!
wow, she identifies herself as a muslim but defies the teaching of islam in things she mentioned. sad case. western tool.
interesting video.
If somebody needs to hear about Arabs problems, he can talk with someone who lives there. Women are not suffering as she is showing.
I've only watched 10 minutes, but I haven't learned anything. And what's with all the dramatic tone in her voice? She sounds like she's auditioning for a high school play.
Can someone explain to me how a woman benefits from having a medically certified intact hymen when she is with child?
in one ear out the othet
good idea for talking but she must learn better ho to do it. no touching her face not looking in the grownd. ita a good topic and point but porly represented.
People like this woman are responsible for the bad image of Islam I don't think she is really Muslim
First of all, stop calling that "honour killings" > There is no honour in these acts, they are torture and murder, period. Second, seeing what's happening in the US now since the 80's with the extreme Christian movements taking over politics and destroying personal freedoms as fast as they can get their abuse-vision-filled hands on them, I found it ironic that she was speaking to the audience as if it were truly very different where the TED talk was taking place. Yes, there are differences, still, but far less than the Christian communities would like to pretend, as they are of the same family, and basically of the same roots in their ideas of relationship, ie. based on abuse of domination and submission, the so called sin of consciousness and awareness-
-as she said, "more than 50 shades of gray" –nothing to do with love or Love, respect or Spirituality, only power control through one of the most sacred parts and ways of us all, our deep connection through our sexuality, that from all that is around us, reflects the great Love of which we are also made. When it is handled in any other way, especially as power bs, it has lost all that matters, and, as we see, abuse in all forms political and personal are nourished, instead of our lives, loves and souls.Разумная женщина говорит разумные вещи. Всецело поддерживаю Шерин. Запрет секса до брака это мракобесие, которое не повышает "моральность" общества, а напротив, развивает проституцию и различные медико-бюрократические аномалии вроде рожавшей девственницы, у которой есть справка.
i bet she is lesbian!
but I'm gonna move out again, I have a child, and it will work out.
hope life worked out for fiza too
and for the other fellas and really just everyone
You explain so beautifully i my self believe that quran don't have antisexy thoughts
I wish I heard this 65 years ago before falling into silly religious indoctrination !
It would seem that historically, a culture or society becomes open to things like homosexuality, transgender, lesbian, liberal feministic type thinking, predominately shortly before it collapses. Babylon, Rome, etc. It's understandable because it generally means there are too many weak immoral pathetic men who's best roll model was some slave to her emotions and social engineering female minded person that raised them as best she/he knew how. These days regardless of the parents Theistic, Atheistic or agnostics perspectives, they, meaning society as a whole serves a Luciferian construct in thousands of different way, its civilizations primary operating system for the last few thousand years by their own choice, despite knowing its wrong. Hence why they must call a lot of wrong, right and right wrong. But back to the point of sad modern parenting practices, which often means the kid gets an EMF radiation producing smart device like an iPad or smart phone for a pacifier till its old enough to let the compulsory education system and peers take over. I'm not saying I disagree with all of this vid. But I think we have to consider a lot more than demonization of old cultural perspectives while glorifying what they demonize. Its so odd to me that honor killings should or would ever be necessary unless or until you make it illegal. In some places, spanking a child is even illegal, yet not disciplining a child is definitely child abuse. I know when I take a look around I see people on average getting fatter, weaker, dumber, lazier, and wimpier. It's not hard to ascertain why or what to do about it. Want me to tell ya why some guys got no jobs, got no money, and are going around raping girls?. Yeah I didn't think so.
Very nice talk. Being very familiar with the Middle East, I have met people from families who almost drove them crazy with their hyper-conservative views — while Arabs and Persians, for example, were at one time quite ahead of the Western world in these matters.
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When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.
I keep a distance for the islamic world. It is not for me.